Running behind

The past few weeks have been a bit hectic and I'm running behind on my "I Run" posts.  :)  This week will be a 2-for-1 deal.

If you have been following my blog, you know that I've been battling a foot injury the 4-6 weeks and haven't been able to run.  Not REAL running anyway.  I have been able to run on the anti-gravity treadmill at physical therapy.  Last week, I was cleared to begin gradually adding regular treadmill running back into my training.  This period of time has been difficult for me - mentally and emotionally.  It is extremely frustrating to not get my training runs in, to be forced to incorporate other types of training instead.  And then there is the mental challenge of staying positive during injury recovery when it seems to be taking so long, and battling the stress of knowing that time to marathon day is dwindling.  All of this brings to mind two of the reasons I run.

I run because I feel happier and better about life, in general, when running is a part of my life/routine.  I've noticed this more and more as I've gotten older.  Even if I'm only able to get in a few miles, I feel better.  This past Friday, I hopped onto the treadmill for my first regular treadmill run on this seemingly long recovery road.  I couldn't have been more excited.  Normally, I dread running on a treadmill.  But on this particular day, it was like a weight had finally been lifted from me.  Those around me even noticed the spring in my step.  Running is such a blessing in my life.

With my foot recovery going slower than I had hoped, I was not able to run the Chicago Rock 'n Roll half marathon this morning like I had planned.  My goal was to finish in an hour and 50 minutes in order to qualify for a start corral for the full marathon in October.  Within in the past week and a half, I had to come to accept that I wouldn't be able to run the half.  If it were the reason I was training, my ultimate goal, I would have run and I would have run fast enough to finish in the time I wanted.  BUT ... the half marathon isn't what I am training for, it was only a step along the way to the full marathon.  Sure, it would have felt REALLY good to run that fast since it is over 10 minutes faster than my previous half marathon time.  But, I have to be smart & think about the end goal rather than the instant gratification.  Those milestones can be met another day.  Right now, I have to focus on recovery and preparing for October 10.  Which, in a way, is a friendly reminder to count my blessings and not take them for granted.  I CAN RUN.  I am able to work through this injury; I will recover and complete the marathon. There are so many people who do not have the ability to do what I am doing.  I run because I can; I run for all those people who can not and with each new day that I lace up my shoes, I am thankful for this blessing in my life.

I like big butts!

No, I'm not revealing something I look for in the opposite sex.  Rather, this is a quote from a random man (much older I would guess based on what Megan saw of him) who was sitting on the patio of a restaurant that Megan and I were leaving a few months ago.  Fairly upscale, trendy restaurant here in Chicago.  We had just dined there to celebrate the end of tax season for me, and as we were leaving, we had the pleasure of this outburst of .... approval???  I suppose if we were different girls, we might have been offended.  Instead, we looked at each other & Megan said "Did he just say 'I like big butts!'?"  "Yep."  We laughed.

Running does not leave me with a small backside.  It's more like a bubble butt.  Small chest?  Absolutely.  First thing to shrink when I start running a lot.  Small buns?  Nope.  More well-defined, tighter buns?  Yes. Small?  No.

But, you know, I'll take it.  Apparently guys like big butts.  :)

I run for the positive effects on my backside!  Haha!

slowing metabolism

I think it's complete crap that metabolism slows as we age.  But, take my word for it, the claims are true.  In my 20's, I never had to worry much about how much I ate versus how much I got myself out the door and moving.  Then I hit 30.  And, boy oh boy, were my 30s ready to usher me right on in to a new world.  I'm fairly certain my metabolism ground to a virtual halt for a short period of time.  That is, until I noticed my pants were getting tighter and decided to take charge.  Not that I had been a coach potato before, but staying fit post-20s takes a more conscious and dedicated effort.  At least for me.  Interestingly, now that I'm in the routine, I actually feel better and look better than I did in my 20s.  Funny how these things work. I'll take 30-something any day.

I run because claims that metabolism slows after 30 are no joke!  And the satisfaction of looking better at almost 32 feels pretty darn good!

stress relief

I have a stressful job.  Yes, I said it.  Put it right out there for one and all to read and know.  Of course, it's not really a secret.  And when I say it is stressful, I don't mean that it provides a healthy amount of stress.  But it does provide me another reason to get out and run.  I run to relieve stress, to release tension.  I run to start my day on the right foot, to give something to myself before I give to everyone else.  Or I run at the end of a long day when I need to let go of frustration (and sometimes even anger), to give back to myself, to restore balance.  I run because if I didn't I would probably resort to other means of dealing with stress that are more harmful to my body than helpful or healthy.  I run because I choose (most days anyway!) positive outlets that make me feel good about myself and about life.  I run to be good to me.

It's "Between the Ears"

I've been sidelined from running again and am back in physical therapy.  It's frustrating.  For several reasons.  Running felt good, and I was feeling really strong.  It felt easy & fun, I was running fast (for me anyway!); and I looked forward to that time each day, either alone or with friends.  It's also frustrating because I WANT to run this marathon.  It's frustrating, but here's the thing:  I know I will run it and I know I will run well.  Being a runner requires a certain mental toughness.  That doesn't mean run through ALL pain; it means be tough, be smart, and be strong.  Not just in running, but in all things you must do in order to make it to the starting line.

Many people say "oh you're injured (again), maybe you're not meant to run a marathon".  As a runner, I've never thought of it that way.  There is a reason for the injury and I need to work on it.  Most likely building strength in the little muscles non-runners never know that they use everyday.  But the injury also provides an OPPORTUNITY to build on that mental toughness.  This is a fork in the road:  one path is to let the injury get me down & then struggle to return from it; the other path is to increase cross training, work on muscle strength, and fight the inevitable mental battle.  I'm choosing the "other path" and it is not easy for me.  Riding a stationary bike for 90 minutes makes me want to cry.  I don't bike.  But for every single one of those 90 minutes last Saturday, I told myself "I can do this.  I need to do this.  This is where I want to be.  It will make me stronger."  I finished the 90 minutes, and even though I felt like I needed one of those donut things to sit on for the rest of the weekend, I got back on the bike last night for another 45 minutes.  I didn't even mind it so much this time.  The next test comes tonight when I put on my swimming suit (and I'm not talking about the cutesy little bikini for heading to the beach!) and buoyancy belt and head to the pool for water running.  Later this week, I'll tackle something equally as dreadful to me as riding a stationary bike - swimming laps.  Funny thing is, by the time I get to the starting line of the marathon, I will probably enjoy biking and swimming!  Or at least have a solid appreciation for it.

I run because it forces me to call on my mental toughness; it builds on that mental toughness and makes me stronger.  That is amazingly powerful.  It reminds me again and again of the power of the mind and all that I can accomplish IF I CHOOSE IT.  Everyday in life we are faced with challenges that require mental toughness over all else.  Running prepares me for those challenges.

One of the inspirational people in my running world sent me a message last week that reminded me that most of it is "between the ears".  She's right.  And when the time comes, I'm going to win that mental battle!

I run to support my foot doc!

It has been just over 2 months since my last visit to see my foot doc.  Apparently I have missed him.  Or my feet have missed him anyway.  I broke down and called today and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow.  Honestly, it's more of a love-hate relationship.  I really do like him, he's great.  But I hate that seeing him means there is something not right with my foot/feet.  Something that could require me to alter my training or prevent me from running for a period of time.  Not good.

Fortunately, as I mentioned, he is a great doc and I know he will take good care of me.  He'll have me running pain-free again as quickly as possible.  It's happened before and will probably happen again.  Add a knowledgeable strength and running coach to the picture and I'll be running fast and injury-free in no time.  Within 6 weeks of coming off my last injury, I had dropped 2 minutes off of my 5k time.  So you see, I am in good hands!

At times like this, I figure I must continue running as a favor to my foot doctor.  I'm keeping him in business!

Run for Fun

I'm a little behind on getting this post up.  Last Saturday, I spent most of my day sitting in a minivan with 4 other runners.  We'd been there since Thursday night, with the exception of a short stop at a hotel that night to catch some pre-race sleep, and then a few nap breaks during the day and night on Friday/Saturday.  This was the MC200.  2 vans, 11 runners, several cases of water, a case of gatorade, clif bars, trail mix, bananas, peanut butter and pretzels.  A few pillows, blankets, sleeping bags, and overnight bags full of running gear.  By the end of day 2, approximately 33 hours after starting the race and 1 rain delay later, our van was full of tired, sweaty, but still smiling and laughing people.  Only runners would do something this crazy and call it fun.  Despite the exhaustion, that's exactly what it was -- FUN!  And it is exactly why I run.

I run for fun.  Whether by myself or with a team, running is fun.  And it's even more fun when your times keep getting faster!  ;)

Here are a few pics from the MC 200.  I can't wait until next year!

new challenge

Life is about challenge.  The challenge of trying something new, getting out of your comfort zone, pushing yourself to new heights,  weathering the storm, facing fears, telling yourself "I can", and being open to the adventure.  I find all of these in running.

Training for my first full marathon is challenging - physically, mentally and emotionally.  I want the challenge.  Sometimes I crave it, I need it.  Because with each challenge that I face and work through, I am reminded of my strength and I am confident that I can do anything I choose.  Not just in running, but in life.

This week, I will set out on a new challenge.  I'm participating in the MC 200 relay.  The Madison-Chicago 200 is a team relay and one of the longest running events of its kind in the US.  The race supports Special Olympics of Wisconsin and Illinois and The Avon Foundation's "Need for Speed Against Domestic Violence".  Our 11-person team will start running at 8:00 am Friday morning in Madison, WI and make our way through 200 miles back to Chicago.  It will take us approximately 32 hours.  (We'll have a lot of quality time in a van!)  I will run 3 separate legs - 6.97, 7.65, and 6.50 miles - within a 24-hour period.  Preparing for this type of event feels like a different ballgame.  And I imagine the challenge of getting out of the van at approximately 5:00 am on Saturday morning to run my last leg after already running 14.5 miles and spending 21 hours in a van will be a tough one.  I also know I will welcome it.  I'm looking forward to the experience - the scenic course, the fun and laughter, the friendships that will be forged in our 2 vans over those 30+ hours, and of course, the challenge.  (I'll post pictures next week)

I run for the challenge.

favorite people

As I sat here at my computer trying to choose this week's reason from my "I run" list, I reflected on the day and my choice was easy.  Granted, on this amazingly gorgeous Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, many reasons come to mind.  It was a perfect morning for a run and there wasn't a single minute of my 10 miles with my own personal coach riding alongside me (there were only 2 of us who showed up for the training run this morning) that I wasn't thankful to be running.  But I chose this week's reason for the fun-filled hours that followed this morning's run.  It is not entirely different from last week's reason, however last week's focus was camaraderie while out running and this week's focus is on the friendships that become part of life outside of running. 

To fully appreciate the magnitude, I have to go back several years.  When I trained for my second half marathon (2005), I met a remarkable woman who has since become many things to me - real estate agent, role model and dear friend.  Beth was in the same pace group as 2 of my friends and I, and over the course of those sometimes dreadful winter training runs, she became a friend.  I moved to New York that spring, but we kept in touch occasionally.  Beth increased her training and running took its place in her life.  Work and travel took over my life and running took a backseat.  As I began considering relocating back to Chicago, Beth was one of the first people I contacted.  I was thinking about buying a condo and I knew she would be the perfect person to help me find my new home.  Even though I put my  buying plans on hold for a few years, she eventually did find me an amazing home that suits me perfectly.  But her contribution to my life doesn't end there.   I woke up one day in early January and decided it was time for running to take its place in my life again.  A few weeks later, Beth took me as a guest to a running class she had been going to as part of her training for the Boston Marathon.  We had planned to meet for a glass of wine that night, and I believe her exact words were - "Why don't you come to this core running class with me first.  The guy who leads the class is so enthusiastic, you'll love it".  What the heck, I gave it a try.  And Beth was right, I loved it.  Ok, in all honesty, I was so sore after that first class that I told myself I had 2 choices:  1) start going every week, or 2) never do that to myself again.  If you've read any of my previous blogs, you know I chose the former.  

Core Running led me to Chicago Fit ... which brings me back to today's reason that I run.  After this morning's run, one of the girls in the group hosted brunch at her home.  I'm not sure she planned for several of us to enjoy the better part of 5 hours eating, drinking, talking and laughing on her front lawn, but somehow that's how it turned out!  A beautiful day surrounded by great friends, all of whom I have met in the past 2-4 months, if not even more recently.  I could not have asked for a better day!

I run because some of my favorite people in life are those that I have met through running.  Beth continues to be a dear friend.  She has qualified for the Boston Marathon twice since we trained together all those years ago; I am proud of her and inspired by her, and I look forward to the day when I can run fast enough to train with her again!  As for Coach Mike, Beth was right, he is enthusiastic and full of energy, even at 6 am. He's also got some pretty sweet dance moves.  The rest of the gang - I can't list them all here, but I'm sure their names will find their way into the blog sooner or later - give me endless reasons to look forward to the several times a week workouts and make getting out of bed at 5 am everyday except Sunday less dreadful.  I love that they are already making their way into the memories that enrich my life.

common ground

There is something about heading out for a long run that puts you on instant common ground with other runners.  Sure, you are pounding the same pavement for minutes, possibly hours, on end, but it goes deeper.  There is a camaraderie amongst runners that lives in their heart and soul.  We all run for different reasons, but there is a mutual respect, an inherent support system, an instant friendship in being out there together.  I have been running with Chicago Fit, my marathon training team, for 6 weeks and with each week's long run, I get to know more people.  We start running and the judgements that often tend to cloud our lives drain into the pavement with the first few steps.  Everything else falls away, nothing else matters, we are all the same.  With each week, I add more friends.  I hear their stories and my life is enhanced.  Our support group grows.  I think of the bond of friendship that still exists with my cross country teammates from high school and I am no longer surprised by the new friendships filling my life.  I am grateful and appreciative of their simplicity and tenacity.  Every week, I am reminded that this camaraderie is one of the reasons that I run.  It is uplifting.  Nothing else matters, we are all the same.

Little things

On my short walk to meet for today's long run, I was marveling at the beauty surrounding me and thinking back to all the times when running has allowed me to discover a new, deeper appreciation for all of the little things in life that we routinely take for granted.  It was a beautiful and sunny morning.  There is nothing like the peace and quiet of a city that is just beginning to come to life at 6:05 am on Saturday morning.  Suddenly, despite being in the middle of Chicago, I notice the little things that you might get anywhere -- birds chirping, the glare of the early morning sunshine, the slight chill that is wearing off as the sun rises, the smell of the trees and flowers in bloom.  It is often easy to forget these things when living amidst towering highrises, the constant hum of traffic, honking horns, blaring sirens.

I remember one particular Saturday morning run when I lived in New York City.  It was shortly after I had moved to the city and I was out for a short 3-4 mile run around 7 am.  I fell in love that day.  The side of the city I saw that morning -- quiet as could be, shop owners out hosing down the sidewalk in front of their shop, no cars in sight, smells of fresh flowers being set out at the bodegas -- was so quaint and charming, it was alluring in an entirely different way than the buzz of the city that bewitches so many.  The New York City that I miss is a NYC that I never would have discovered if it weren't for running.

Perfect thoughts as I set out on this week's journey.  I run because it allows me to discover a side to a city that I might miss otherwise; it re-awakens me to the little things, the amazing things, the beautiful things that are always here around us if we take pause to notice.  Running along the Chicago lakefront in the early morning hours of a beautiful sunny day never grows old.  A simply amazing & refreshing way to start a new day.

Run to Remember

As I sit here at 8:45 am in running clothes, socks and shoes on the floor next to me, in my Austin hotel room, I am thankful for awesome friends who will get up early and run with me when I'm on "vacation".  Thanks JJ and Meggo!

When I decided to run the marathon this year, I wanted a reason bigger than me.  Despite the many charities affiliated with the Chicago Marathon, choosing my charity wasn't difficult.  I wanted a charity that had influenced my life so I chose to participate in National Hospice Foundation's Run to Remember.  I'm running in honor of my grandpa and to raise awareness of and support for hospice care.

Today marks the launch of my fundraising website.  To see my story, please visit the website and pass it along to your friends.  You can donate through my site or email me directly at akbezdek@me.com if you want to send a check.  Emails with your words of encouragement and support are also GREATLY appreciated!  If hospice care has touched your life, please share your story.  I would love to hear them & carry them along the way with me.

http://www.active.com/donate/runtoremember2010/ABezdek

Run for love

By the time I finally arrived in Topeka today, I was having mixed feelings about lacing up my shoes.  After 10 hours in the car (driving from Chicago), I was ready to get moving, but 2 adorable nieces were waiting to see Aunt Angie!  Luckily, Addison was at the zoo and I was able to squeeze in a few quick minutes of bonding time with Caylee before she started to wail.  That was my cue to head out for this week's long run.  

For old times sake, I thought it might be nice to run around Lake Shawnee.  When we used to do this 6-miler in high school, it seemed soooooo far.  I have never run the whole thing since and was curious to see how it would feel.  It brought back many wonderful memories.  I don't know if it was the Kansas air or extra endorphins from that trip down memory lane, but I covered the distance in nearly the same amount of time it took me all those years ago.  Almost 1 minute per mile faster than my target long run pace.  Impressive!

This trip down memory lane wouldn't be complete without a hearty chuckle over what got me running in the first place.  I will never forget the day very early into our freshman year that my best friend approached me with this "great idea".  You see, she fancied this older boy.  He was on the cross country team.  She was going to join the team.  And she wanted me to do it too.  Being the best friend, I really had no choice.  I joined the cross country team and went to my first race 2 or 3 days later.  I had never run 2 miles prior to this race (ok, and I suppose I can't even say I did at this particular race since I had to walk a short amount); I only owned gym shoes at this point, "real" running shoes weren't purchased until the following week; and I wasn't quite sure I was all that fond of this sport.    Yet, over the course of that first season, I became a runner.  My relationship with running has lasted through the years; her relationship with the guy, on the other hand, was pretty short-lived.  She did, however, go on to marry a different guy from the team.  They are still happily married with two children.

It still makes me laugh, we must have been crazy!  Then again, maybe we had it right all along.  I'm certain I have a better chance of meeting the man of my dreams on a running path than in a bar.  Pretty good motivation to lace up those shoes!

eat fabulous food, then run

This week, I came up with my full list of 26 reasons that I run. Of course, I'm at liberty to alter the list at any point, but now the toughest part is choosing a reason for the week. When my alarm went off at 6 am this morning and the view out over Chicago was foggy with a potential drizzle, I immediately told myself "ok, Angie, you have 26 reasons, pick one and get out of bed". It may sound silly, but this is a powerful list!

So this morning I got up, put my running clothes on, and made the 5 minute walk to Core Fitness (running group meeting point) because I ate a yummy dinner out last night and then went ahead and had several delicious bites of carrot cake! This morning, it is time to BURN off a few of those calories!

I run because 2 1/2 years in NYC turned me into a foodie and I lost all desire to turn down an amazing dish because of its calorie content!

Probably not a surprise given that my initial reason for this blog is food! Savor each bite, then run!

I run ...

Yesterday was the official start of training for the Chicago marathon. I am both excited and nervous about the training. Excited because it's my first full marathon and because getting back into training over the past few months has made me really happy. Nervous because I'm already in physical therapy for ankle/calf injuries and now my knee has started bothering me again. Frustrating. Getting old (or older than 8 years ago when I trained for my first half marathon anyway!) is not fun; this is going to take a lot of time, effort, dedication. I might start logging the number of hours I spend doing things other than running -- ie. stretching and icing -- that will be necessary components of my "training" in order to cross the finish line. It won't be insignificant. Oh well. Most rewarding and satisfying things in life don't come without hard work and determination.

Of course, motivation can be a big help, and I know I will need a LOT of it during the next 26 weeks! I'm training with Chicago Fit and a recent weekly newsletter inspired me. Our coaches were asked to complete the sentence "I run ...." and their quotes/responses were shared in the newsletter. I started thinking about the many reasons I have chosen to run over the past 18 years. I'm actually a little alarmed that it has been 18 years. Freshman year of high school was a long time ago! Over those years, there have been long stretches when I didn't run at all; periods when I ran very leisurely, never running more than 5 miles at a time or entering a race; and periods where running/training was a main focus. Most aspects of my life today are very different than 18 years ago, and there aren't many things that were constant over those years. But I still run. Which is ironic because when I started, I didn't like it, and over the past 8-10 years, it as landed me in physical therapy every time I have decided to train for a race of longer distance than a 10k. So why DO I run?

Each week for the next 26 weeks of training, I'll post a reason. Some reasons will be simple and funny, and some will be introspective. Something to think about for the week and provide extra motivation when I need it during training runs (ummm .. or to get me up and out of bed at 5 am for a workout!). Join me for my journey & please add comments about why you run/workout/etc. I would love to hear from you!


I run ...

I run because I have never NOT felt better - physically, mentally, emotionally - after a run.